Remember high school? Supposedly the best four years of your life– a phrase often thrown around but in reality, most people would argue that high school is not the peak. It’s just four years of trying to survive pop quizzes, bad haircuts, and figuring out where you fit in.
Kind of like SEO, honestly.
In highschool cliques were the thing–the cool kids had their own table, and everyone wanted a seat. But getting in? Not so easy. You had to wear the right brands, say the right things, and—most importantly—get noticed by the queen bee herself.
Well, welcome to SEO. Google is the queen bee, the first page of search results is the cool kids’ table, and your website? Right now, it’s probably that new kid standing awkwardly with a lunch tray, hoping for an invite.
But don’t worry—SEO is basically the art of becoming popular (without the Mean Girls-level drama). Nail your keywords (aka your catchphrases), get backlinks from the right sources (aka your hype friends), and keep your content fresh (aka don’t show up in last season’s trends), and boom—you’re in.
So, if you’re ready to go from unnoticed to undeniable, let’s break down SEO like it’s high school—but way less stressful.
What Makes Google Think You’re Popular?
According to the Canadian Science Publishing (2020), SEO refers to the way search engines such as Google prioritise or rank web pages when they come up in someone’s search results. A good ranking will make your paper show up earlier in search results, thereby making it more likely that interested readers will find it and, ideally, cite it.
In other words, Google’s search results is the high school social scene. The first page? That’s where the popular kids sit. If your website isn’t ranking well, it’s like being stuck at the loner table—no one sees you, no one talks to you, and you’re basically invisible. SEO is your way to climb the social ladder of the internet—from being an unnoticed freshman to sitting at the top with the big names.
How to Keep Your Content From Sitting Alone at the Lunch Table
Pick the buzzwords that make you the talk of the school AKA find your primary keywords: Your primary keyword is your reputation—the word or phrase that defines what your content is all about. It’s what you want to be known for and how you want Google to recognise you. But just like picking the right clique, choosing the best keyword takes strategy.
Be the first to start the trend AKA identify content gaps: Top-ranking websites have already figured out what works, and if you want to climb Google’s rankings, you need to study them. Check out their content—what topics are they covering, and what are they missing? Look for gaps where you can provide better, deeper, or more unique insights. See who they’re “friends” with by analysing their backlinks—are there sources you should be tapping into? But don’t be a copycat—put your own spin on it and bring something fresh to the table. The goal isn’t just to fit in but to stand out and become the trendsetter that Google and readers can’t ignore.
Join more clubs AKA choose your secondary keywords: Once you’ve picked your “main thing” or your primary keyword, it’s time to build your reputation by adding some side hustles—your secondary keywords. Just like being known as the “star quarterback” is great, having extra titles like “best-dressed” or “class comedian” only boosts your popularity. These secondary keywords are closely related to your primary keyword—think of them as synonyms, subtopics, or super-specific versions (long-tail keywords) of your main focus.
Why do they matter? Well, just like joining more clubs increases your chances of being noticed, secondary keywords help your content rank for a wider range of searches. Plus, while the primary keyword is the crowded “cool kids’ table,” secondary keywords are like niche friend groups—easier to break into and still get you noticed. Mastering both helps you dominate the search hallways and become the talk of the school (or in this case, Google).
Don’t just copy the smart kid’s homework AKA create quality content: No matter how many trendy outfits (optimisations) you wear, if you don’t bring value, you won’t stay relevant. Quality content is like the star student—it’s accurate (no spreading false rumors), genuinely helpful (like tutoring instead of just flexing your GPA), original (copying someone else’s homework won’t get you noticed), and engaging (like the best lunch table conversations). When your content is worth sticking around for, both Google and your audience will want to be in your circle.
If it feels like homework, no one’s reading it SO make your content easy to read: Think of readability like social status in high school—if you’re too hard to understand, people will tune you out and move on. No one wants to sit through a lecture from the monotone teacher when they could be listening to a fun, easygoing storyteller. If your content is confusing or overwhelming, readers will “bounce” like freshmen avoiding the senior hallway, and Google will take that as a sign that you’re not worth ranking. To keep people engaged, break up long blocks of text like you’re sending texts, not writing an essay. Keep your language simple—no need to sound like you swallowed a thesaurus. Use visuals to add flair, like a well-curated Instagram post. And when listing info, use bullet points—because let’s be real, no one reads giant walls of text. Make your content fun, scannable, and easy to digest, and both readers and Google will want to keep you in their circle.
From Background Character to Main Character Energy—SEO Edition
High school might not have been the peak, but your website’s ranking can be. Just like climbing the social ladder back then, SEO is all about knowing the keywords, making the right content strategy, and keeping up with the trends. With the right approach, you won’t just get a seat at the cool kids’ table—you’ll be running the whole cafeteria.
But if all this still feels like navigating the first day at a new school, don’t worry—UnicornGO has your back. Whether you need killer content, expert SEO strategies, or just someone to make sure your brand doesn’t end up eating lunch alone, we’re here to help. Let’s make your website the most popular one in the search hallways—no drama required.
